Firearms, Fireworks, and Florida

The Gun Violence Archive keeps records of every incident involving a firearm in the USA. Monday morning I checked in with them to review their reports for the last three days. I discovered some interesting facts. First, there were 353 shootings nationwide during the three-day weekend. That is actually a bit lower than normal for the first weekend in July. (The first weekend in July is typically one of the weekends that sees the most shootings in the country).

Although Chicago maintained its position as the city with the most Independence Day shootings, for the first time in several years Illinois did not lead the nation as the state with most shootings over the entire weekend. That honor went to California with New York coming in a close second. Have you noticed that these are the three states with the most stringent gun controls?

Well, the state with the least stringent gun controls and the highest percentage of its population holding concealed carry permits is Florida. Of the ten most populated states, Florida had the fewest shootings. Of the five Florida firearm fatalities (try saying that 10 times real fast), four of them involved illegal aliens. Looks like having more citizens carry firearms and a fewer illegal aliens could solve this problem in a New York minute.

Another interesting fact I discovered was that the states with the highest percentage of fatalities (killed vs. injured) were all southern states. What I conclude from this fact is that southern boys have much better aim.

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If you think 353 is a high number, you better sit down. According to the Consumer Products Safety Commission, more than 15,000 Americans were injured or killed by fireworks over the weekend. During those three days the number of people in California killed by fireworks (10) was higher than the number of people killed by firearms (6).

You may have noticed that the injuries and deaths from fireworks have greatly increased over the last few years. I attribute that to states relaxing their laws concerning individual use of professional-style fireworks.

I remember when Florida started doing this and fireworks stores opened up, predominantly around the beaches. We, oops I mean they, yeah, they had to sign an affidavit swearing under oath that (they) needed the fireworks to scare crows off of (their) farms in order to make the purchase. After signing the affidavit, the buyers typically were given permission to negotiate the prices with the sales clerk to end up paying far less than the posted price. Regulars were given excellent pricing (so I was told). Even then, without a professional license one could not get anything more powerful than a 3-inch mortar. The parking-lot venders were primarily for sparklers; they could not sell anything more powerful than Roman candles.

I remember the first time someone in my neighborhood (again, I will not say who) first lit one of the multi-mortar boxes off of their pool deck. It was incredibly loud and the one-box show lasted so long it barely ended before the police showed up. Everyone in the neighborhood was impressed.

On Thursday, I stopped in to one of the parking-lot vendors and was quite shocked to see that I could buy 5-inch motors and for the incredible sum of $349, I could buy a 12-shot, five-inch mortar box that needed to be lit only once. After several minutes of discussion with the sales person (I could not tell if it was a man or a woman) I came to the conclusion that the posted price, along with the posted bogo, was the best price I was going to get. That’s when I remembered I was only there for journalistic purposes. Yeah, that’s it.

The only thing that surprised me more than the prices was the number of people under the tent spending hundreds of dollars, many of whom looked like they could barely feed their families.

It would have been a waste of money to buy any fireworks. There were so many people in Winter Park shooting off their own fireworks that all I needed to do was walk out to the street and there were hours of free fireworks displays, some very good. They were quite loud and lasted until after midnight. Eventually, everyone in the neighborhood was more pissed off than impressed.

After looking at all the injuries and fatalities, I couldn’t help but think that there must have been some 9-year-old child in China, 10 hours into his 16-hour shift at the fireworks factory, who thought, “Who needs fentanyl? Let me just pour a little extra gunpowder into random fuses and we will see what happens.“ The CCP was probably so happy with his idea that they doubled his lunch break to six minutes.

I think it’s time that we go back to having cities and country clubs put on their own fireworks displays and everybody else just sit back and enjoy them. There are simply too many fireworks going off all night long. It is no longer cool to buy your own fireworks. It is just annoying.

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I love all of the lefty attacks on Florida’s use of an existing facility to house illegal aliens. To egg-on the radicals, the Republicans had to give it the name of Alligator Alcatraz. They sure are having fun with the commies.

Over the last 50 years, I have fished and hunted all over Alligator Alley (the highway that provides the only road access to the A.A. facility). It is not a place for snowflakes, trust-fund liberals, or other pansies. Fishing a few miles west of there one day I had an alligator come all the way into the boat after a snook.

Let me save you from guessing; I gave her the snook . . . then I put a twelve-gauge slug into her forehead. There still are some places where a pistol-grip Mossberg 500 is part of the necessary fishing gear.

Deep in the Glades, the alligators and crocodiles rarely see a human so they have absolutely no fear of us. They know they are the apex predators. Too bad Allie had to learn about shotguns the hard way. She was a spry 11-footer.

What I think will bother the inmates the most, however, are the mosquitoes. While down in that area of the Glades I have often found my shirt covered with the bloodsuckers. I mean covered to the point where you can barely tell what color the shirt is. I have a feeling the illegals will be begging to get sent back to the desert.

I should point out an important truth missed by the national news media. Alligator Alcatraz is air conditioned. Many regular prisons in the United States are not, including the worst place in the country to serve time: Louisiana’s Angola Prison. (Where almost 50% of the inmates die before serving their full sentence). I am certain every prisoner in Angola would gladly trade places with one of the illegals during July and August.

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Two more things: Aliens, don’t worry about the pythons. They can only kill you when you are sleeping. The gators and crocs will get to you long before you close your eyes.

Americans, here is a little rhyme I taught my boys when they were young to keep everybody safe:

Alligator, crocodile

Barracuda, shark,

For good reasons,

Not to swim after dark.

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In other news, the lefties wasted no time blaming President Trump for the Texas flood. They were so quick to blame him they couldn’t wait around for the facts.

Probably the worst comment I noticed was from an anti-American pediatrician who claimed “Kerr County . . . voted to gut FEMA. They deny climate change. May they get what they voted for.”

She reportedly had previously made other comments against religious campers. Her employer fired her faster than a Democrat could blame President Trump. I would have fired her sooner for using improper English, or for not knowing that FEMA doesn’t come into play until after the disaster, or for lying about the Trump Administration gutting FEMA, or for thinking we can control the climate. There are many good reasons to fire someone like that pediatrician.

It must be hell going through life with that much hatred in one’s thoughts. I suggest she put herself (or is it “itself”?) out of her own misery. If she wants, I would be happy to help. She could pretend like she is an Everglades alligator coming into my boat.

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